More Media Attention
by Shadowgate
Summary: Just when you think Foster's can't benefit from more media attention they get more.


MORE MEDIA ATTENTION

BY SHADOWGATE

I DON'T OWN FOSTERS HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS THAT OLD GENIUS CRAIG DOES ALONG WITH CARTOON NETWORK

IT'S A GLORIOUS DAY AT FOSTERS WHERE A NEWS NETWORK THAT WAS RECENTLY FOUNDED WOULD BE COMING FOR A BIG INTERVIEW WITH FRANKIE, MR. HERRIMAN MADAMEE FOSTER. THIS NEWS MEDIA IS CONSIDERED AN ALTERNATIVE MEDIA TO THE MAIN ONES AND THEY'VE GAINED POPULARITY. FRANKIE HOPES TO MAKE UP FOR THE ISSUES THEY WHEN THE MEDIA HAS CAME TO VISIT IN THE PAST AND THEY WERE LOCKED OUT OF THE HOUSE.

3PM

Mac: I'm here.

Bloo: Mac!

Mac: Bloo what do you want to do today?

Bloo: Mac we have to get ready because the big new News Network is coming to do a big cover story on Foster's.

Mac: Oh no

Bloo: What?

Mac: Don't you remember the last time news crews came?

Bloo: Yes and those Funny Bunny products were totally sweet.

Mac: First of all we were lucky those Funny Bunny products became such a hit. You had no right to upload that to the internet.

Bloo: Mac he wasn't that humiliated.

Mac: Oh sure.

Mac: Do you not remember the time after that when a news crew came and we were locked out?

Bloo: Mr. Herriman screwed up the security system and Cheese is retarded so he couldn't tell us the code.

Mac: It was a disaster.

Bloo: It was funny when Frankie started banging her head against the wall.

Mac: Yes that was kind of funny.

MAC AND BLOO START GIGGLING.

Frankie: Excuse me

Mac: Oh Frankie

Frankie: Our big goal is to avoid another disaster like we had the last time the media came. This is our second chance and we'll be on channel 18 live.

Mac: Channel 18 that's the new network oh what was it called?

Frankie: The Hick News Network.

Mac: That's a funny name.

Frankie: They've gained in popularity but I think they're a big joke.

Mac: So why would you even want them over here?

Frankie: I am desperate after the last time we were on the news. Cheese ruined everything.

Mac: Well you got the security system right?

Frankie: Cheese knew the code the first time around and when we changed it he figured out the code the second time.

Mac: Well maybe Cheese won't come barging in like last time.

Frankie: I hope not.

CHEESE WALKS IN THE DOOR.

Mac: Damn

Frankie: Great just what we need.

Cheese: I'm here.

Frankie: Why are you here Cheese?

Cheese: Louise is in the hospital.

Mac: Oh that's right Louise is getting her tonsils out.

Frankie: So she won't be watching Cheese.

Mac: Would you want Cheese running around a hospital?

Frankie: Now I see why he's not with her.

Cheese: I like fudge.

Bloo: When does the news crew get here?

Frankie: When they do I'd like you and Cheese to hang out together upstairs.

Bloo: No way Frankie.

Frankie: Bloo you like this house don't you?

Bloo: Of course.

Frankie: Then let's help make it look good.

Bloo: I can make this house look good.

Frankie: Your idea of making the house look good is having food fights and causing all out destruction.

Cheese: I read Playboy this morning.

Frankie: Oh My God

Mac: Cheese ha ha ha

Frankie: Mac we need to be serious.

Mac: Right I'm sorry.

Frankie: Alright the news crew is going to be here at four o'clock and Madame Foster and Mr. Herriman are ready. They've got everything set up out front.

Frankie: Now we need just a few imaginary friends, we don't need 100 standing out front like we had last time.

Cheese: I get to be on the news.

Frankie: Oh hell no.

Bloo: He'll screw up everything.

Frankie: Well Bloo why don't you take him upstairs and play with him?

Bloo: How about you take him upstairs and play with him?

Frankie: Because I have important work to do.

Bloo: Like what?

Frankie: Well for one thing I want to get Mac to put on a tie and blazer.

Mac: A tie and a blazer?

Frankie: Yes you'll look really good for the cameras.

Mac: Yes

Bloo: Do I get to wear a tie and a blazer?

Frankie: No Bloo.

Bloo: I'll be naked on television.

Frankie: You're an imaginary friend so it's okay.

Cheese: I love being naked.

MAC AND BLOO BOTH LAUGH.

Frankie: Hey Cheese why don't you go down to the basement? There's some candy down there.

Cheese: Yeaaaaaaaaaa

CHEESE GOES DOWN TO THE BASEMENT.

Frankie: Alright Bloo you can be on the news but Mac will keep you in line.

Frankie: Mac let's get you dressed up for the cameras.

BLOO OBSERVES FRANKIE PUTTING A BLAZER AND A TIE ON MAC IN THE FITTING ROOM USED WHEN MAC HAD TO ATTEND THE WEDDING.

Frankie: This blazer is brand spanking new.

Mac: Please don't say spanking.

Frankie: Oh sorry

Mac: I don't even jaywalk home from school anymore since last week when you gave me what I had coming.

Frankie: Well good because you could get hit by a car.

Bloo: Hey Mac if you're through playing dress up could we play the new Wii game I got?

Mac: Bloo the news crew is going to be here in 30 minutes.

Bloo: Then we have 30 minutes to play this new awesome game.

Mac: No we don't.

Bloo: Come ONNNN this is an awesome game where a dragon eats people.

Mac: Really?

Bloo: Yes it's totally awesome.

Mac: Let's play it.

Frankie: No because you don't have time remember?

FRANKIE PICKS UP MAC AND CARRIES HIM LIKE SHE DID AT THE MALL.

Bloo: Come ONNNNNNNNN

FRANKIE PICKS UP BLOO AND CARRIES HIM.

Frankie: We're going down stairs because we're going to be on the news.

Mr. Herriman: Miss Frances

Frankie: We're ready Mr. Herriman.

Mr. Herriman: Good

MR. HERRIMAN HOPS OUT THE DOOR

Frankie: Now the two of you are going to behave right?

Mac: You know I will.

Frankie: Yes good point but Bloo!

Bloo: What you think I'll ruin everything?

FRANKIE AND MAC BOTH SAY "YES" AT THE SAME TIME.

Bloo: I won't cause any problems.

Frankie: That will be the day.

Cheese: MMMpphhh

CHEESE RETURNED FROM THE BASEMENT WITH SOMETHING IN HIS MOUTH.

Bloo: You think I'll be the trouble maker look there's Cheese.

Cheese: MMMPPHHH

Frankie: Cheese what's wrong?

FRANKIE WALKS OVER TO CHEESE AND SHE GETS A CANDLESTICK OUT OF HIS MOUTH.

Frankie: What were you doing with a candlestick in your mouth?

Cheese: The candy is no good.

Frankie: This isn't candy!

Bloo: Hey Mac that reminds me of the time Terrance got the vacuum cleaner hose and he…

MAC INTERRUPTS

Mac: BLOO!

Frankie: Cheese let's go rinse your mouth out.

FRANKIE TAKES CHEESE INTO THE BATHROOM.

Bloo: Hey Mac when you turn 12 and start to have urges are you going to get a vacuum cleaner hose for fun?

Mac: Bloo how would you like your mouth rinsed out?

Mac: Well excuse me for taking an interest in the well being my creator's development.

Mac: My manly development is none of your business.

Frankie: Mac is right Bloo. Please don't make any outrageous comments.

Frankie: Now how can I keep Cheese away from the media spotlight?

Mac: Oh Frankie let Cheese be on TV. How bad can things get?

Cheese: I had sex with the Dalai Lama.

Mac: Okay that was a dumb question.

Bloo: You think I say outrageous things.

Madame Foster: The news vans are pulling in.

Frankie: Oh shit we got to move.

NEWSCASTER BARRY BUM GETS OUT OF THE BIG NEWS VAN AND PREPARES TO INTERVIEW THOSE AT FOSTER'S.

Barry Bum: I'm Barry Bum your host of the Hick News Network. Today we are covering Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. Foster's opened back in 1950 and was founded by Madame Foster. I'm standing here with Madame Foster and her main associate Mr. Herriman.

Barry Bum: Madame Foster for most of your life you've been a big help for imaginary friends. What made you decide to open this mansion?

Madame Foster: I inherited this mansion from my parents. My father was killed in WW2.

Barry Bum: So you've seen generations of imaginary friends come and go right?

Madame Foster: That's right.

Barry Bum: Mr. Herriman you were created by Madame Foster were you not?

Mr. Herriman: Indeed I was.

MAC OBSERVES THE INTERVIEWING AND TAKES A SEAT ONLY TO ACTIVATE A WHOOPEE CUSHION.

Mac: Bloo someone is going to get their ass kicked before the day is over.

Bloo: Mac I didn't do that I swear.

Mac: Shut your damn mouth.

BLOO SULKS

BERRY BUM MOVES OVER TO INTERVIEW FRANKIE FOSTER.

Berry Bum: You are Francis Foster the Granddaughter of Madame am I correct?

Frankie: Yes I am.

Berry Bum: What made you decide to go into caring for imaginary friends?

Frankie: Well I got my BS in nursing and the hospital was already overstaffed so my Grandma offered me a job.

Berry Bum: What do you like best about your job caring for these needy imaginary friends?

Cheese: I like getting herpes.

Frankie: That is definitely not what I love about the job and the job has nothing to do with that.

BERRY AND FRANKIE LAUGH NERVOUSLY AND BOTH TRY TO FORGET ABOUT WHAT JUST HAPPENED.

Berry Bum: So what do you like best about your job?

Frankie: Everyday is an adventure.

Bloo: Frankie I can see your underwear from here you better pull up the back of your pants.

Frankie: Some days more than others.

Berry Bum: So that's an imaginary friend.

Frankie: Yes but he's not up for interviewing.

Mac: He's not up for adoption either.

Berry Bum: Well I see you got dibs on him.

Berry Bum: So Frankie how much do you make annually working at Fosters?

Frankie: I make $20,000.

Berry Bum: This place gets $100,000,000 a year in funding. How can the state afford it?

Frankie: They quit giving welfare to those who do illegal drugs.

Berry Bum: When was that?

Frankie: About three years ago the state started drug testing welfare recipients. After that the number of people on welfare went down.

Berry Bum: You want to hear a funny coincidence?

Frankie: What's that?

Berry Bum: Three years ago my brother started calling to borrow money and he's been doing that every week now.

Frankie: What a funny coincidence!

FRANKIE AND MAC LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND ROLL THEIR EYES.

Bloo: I don't get it.

MAC WHISPERS TO BLOO "HIS BROTHER IS A FUCKING CRACKHEAD."

Bloo: Oh now I get it.

Berry Bum: Let's look at some of the imaginary friends that currently occupy this house.

Berry Bum: What's your name little fellow?

Bloo: Blooregard

Mac: He's not up for adoption.

Bloo: Sure I'm up for adoption.

Mac: Maybe you're up for a good ass whooping.

Berry Bum: Young man that's no way to treat an imaginary friend. You should apologize.

Bloo: Yes you should.

Mac: I'm sorry Bloo.

Bloo: Say it like you mean it.

Mac: BLOOOOOOOOO

ALL OF THE SUDDEN A HELICOPTER COMES IN FOR A LANDING.

Frankie: Oh no it's the other news network the one we had a bad experience with.

SOON TO THEIR DISMAY THE PEOPLE WITNESS THE BLOND REPORTER FROM THAT AWFUL NETWORK THEY HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE WITH GETTING OUT OF THE CHOPPER.

Berry Bum: Oh look it's my ex-wife coming to steal my show.

BLOND NEWS REPORTER (BNR)

BNR: Berry you rotten scumbag.

Berry Bum: Bitch you can kiss my ass.

BNR: No doubt your brother has been kissing your ass for crack money.

Berry Bum: My brother isn't a crack head you lying fucking bitch.

BNR: You sleazy motherfucker!

Frankie: Holy shit

BNR: Well I see since my last visit you really cleaned up the place. I guess since they cut off welfare money to crack heads you really got it together.

Frankie: Bitch we've always had it together and that last story you ran on us was misleading. The home got damaged because of unfortunate circumstances and not because we're negligent.

BNR: Yeah whatever

Frankie: BITCH!!!

FRANKIE PUNCHES THE BLOND NEWS REPORTER AND KNOCKS OUT HER DENTURES.

BNR: You fucking whore!!!

FRANKIE GETS SMACKED RIGHT BACK.

Mac: Don't call her a whore you ugly phony ass bitch.

BNR: Shut your mouth you little bastard.

Mac: Make me bitch!

BNR: I'll beat you like a wicked stepchild.

Bloo: No you won't.

BLOO CHARGES STRAIGHT INTO THE BLOND NEWS LADY

Mr. Herriman: You want to rumble you motherfuckers?

MOST OF THE IMAGINARY FRIENDS ARE SHOCKED TO HEAR MR. HERRIMAN OF ALL PEOPLE USE SUCH LANGUAGE.

Berry Bum: I'll rumble right here right now.

BNR: Oh you can go fuck yourself.

BERRY TAKES A HEAVY BLOW FROM HIS EX-WIFE AND THEN MADAME FOSTER THROWS A CHAIR AND TAKES OUT THE BLOND NEWS REPORTER.

EVERYBODY STARTS FIGHTING AND SOON THE POLICE SHOW UP.

Frankie: If that stupid cunt wants to press charges she knows where to fucking find me.

Madame Foster: Those news media lowlifes were not going to bring shame upon my wonderful foster home Goddamn it.

Mac: That was a hell of a fight you put up.

Frankie: Mac your lip is bleeding.

Mac: That bitch hit me but I kicked her in the shin.

Madame Foster: Well good for you.

Frankie: Let me clean that up for you.

MAC SITS IN THE KITCHEN AND FRANKIE WASHES HIS LIP AND APPLIES ALCOHOL.

Mac: Ouch that stings.

IN THE WEEKS TO COME FOSTERS RECEIVED NUMEROUS DONATIONS AND BECAME 10 TIMES MORE POPULAR IN THE EYES OF THE GENERAL PUBLIC. THE HICK NEWS NETWORK LASTED ONE WEEK BEFORE THEY WERE SHUT DOWN BECAUSE THEIR RATINGS STUNK.

6 WEEKS LATER

Mac: Hey Bloo!

Bloo: Hey Mac!

Mac: I can't believe all the hits on You Tube that the Foster's big brawl videos are getting.

Bloo: Well I can who doesn't love a good fight?

Mac: I'm just glad Berry Bum is out on his bum. That guy is a loser.

Bloo: You said it?

Mr. Herriman: Master Mac and Master Blooregard I'm appalled that you two would be so happy over such disgusting violence.

Mac: Hey you were totally involved in that big fight. You said "let's rumble motherfuckers!"

Bloo: You are a phony. Ohhh I'm Mr. Herriman and I'm so moral and old fashioned. Nah nah nah

Mr. Herriman: I'm Mr. Herriman and I could put your motherfucking ass in time out.

MAC AND BLOO ARE SHOCKED.

MR. HERRIMAN LAUGHS A LONG EVIL LAUGH.

THE END


End file.
